


A Real Romantic

by writingramblr



Series: Valentine's Day collection 2/14/14 [6]
Category: Hansel and Gretel: Witch Hunters (2013)
Genre: F/M, Gretel has a dirty mouth, Implied Sibling Incest, Sibling Incest, and we all have dirty minds, incest is relative, valentines day
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-02-08
Updated: 2014-02-08
Packaged: 2018-01-11 14:08:34
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 442
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1173990
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/writingramblr/pseuds/writingramblr
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Gretel isn't big on romantic gestures, and luckily Hansel isn't one to do them often. At least he can be creative with them.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Real Romantic

**Author's Note:**

> An idea i've had stewing since literally finishing the movie over a year ago, and one i've kept on the back burner. it's not very long, but mostly because i sorta shy away from writing really problematic ships (however, Anything can be that, to someone) but honestly, this brother/sister duo had more chemistry than some main couples to "so horrible it's good" movies.  
> And I like the idea of bullets instead of rose petals...don't you?

Gretel was just returning from her usual trip in town to replenish supplies when she turned and began to follow a trail of bullets. She huffed a breath upwards, to attempt to unstick her sweaty bangs from her forehead as she muttered,

 “What on earth?”

They led all the way from the start of the stone path up to the front door of the small cottage. Gretel approached them cautiously at first, before realizing they had been placed everywhere on purpose, and had not spilled out from a stray clip or magazine.

A smile quirked her lips as she mounted the steps and kicked open the front door.

Hansel stood in their bedroom, waiting. When he heard her kick down the door, he knew she’d been bitten by the bug.

“Oh hello. Nice of you to knock. Thank heavens I wasn’t doing anything improper.”

She rounded the corner and walked into the room, finding him polishing his silver trimmed crossbow (which she had obtained for him on his last birthday), in an extremely suggestive manner.

Gretel’s left eyebrow nearly vanished into her dark brown bangs,

“You call that ‘proper?’ You’re going to ruin that if you don’t stop right this second.”

Hansel glanced down to find she was correct, he was polishing much too hard.

“Besides, I’d rather you _did_ do something improper. Like me.”

Hansel dropped the crossbow, and didn’t give it another glance.

“Well happy Valentine’s day to you too. What did you bring me?”

Gretel tossed her gun onto the small table already laden with weapons to the side of their bed, and she shrugged,

“Well I certainly didn’t get you any candy if that’s what you’re suggesting.”

Hansel chuckled, a deep rumble that made Gretel’s knees weaken.

“Not exactly. But what’s in your bundle?”

Gretel fingered the satchel at her side, before smirking at him.

“Why don’t you come find out?”

He had taken three long strides toward her, inches from stealing a kiss, when she remembered something. She pushed him back with a firm hand,

“Why did you waste several dozen cartridges outside? You could have just as easily used flower petals.”

Hansel rolled his eyes at her, and leaned over to steal a quick peck on the cheek, before she could protest further.

“I thought you hated flowers. Metal is more you.”

Gretel was becoming too distracted to argue. Besides the fact, he was absolutely right. She was no frilly-skirted, goo-goo eyed hopeless damsel.

She did the rescuing, and usually of his sorry ass.

“You’re right. Now shut up and fuck me.”

The fire in his eyes matched hers, smoldering brown meeting searing green,

“Yes ma’am.”


End file.
